If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. Except in this case the kitchen is the only habitable place in the house and we are all stuck in it and have no other place to go. Despite God making the universe for our use and our delight, he made it pretty...
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Ever get an itch in your ear that was so deep that you couldn’t reach it? Well, remember that God designed you and put nerves inside of your ear that could itch. Then he put a bunch of delicate shit in there that could easily get broken if you try and scratch that itch....
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So here’s an interesting story about a Catholic man who got stuck in an elevator. He was scared. Very scared. All he wanted was to get out and feel free again. So after praying to God to set him free, God finally throws the poor sap a bone. The man, who was very religious...
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Imagine for a moment you are a nubile woman who is minding her own business. You met this great guy and you think things are really going to take off. He’s just so wonderful. Then God waltzes in and fucks up your life forever. What a guy! God doesn’t even come down himself to...
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Job was a peaceful, righteous, and successful man. He had many wives, a nice house, lots of children, and lived a comfortable life. God was looking down at this guy who pleased him, and knew what was coming. He was probably smiling sadistically to himself at all he was going to unleash on poor...
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Before Adam and Eve ate the fruit and doomed us all to God’s petulant wrath, sex always produced a child. Every single time. In fact, when Adam stuck it in and did his deed, afterwards, one sperm would come out, find its mark, and produce a child. The child, subsequently, would slide out of...
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