It is said that prayer can move mountains. In reality, prayer is just a scam that God decided to run on humans. You see, God already knows everything, even things that have not happened yet, and since he can never be wrong, prayer does jack shit. God directly lied to his followers when he...
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Meet Jonah. The Bible tells us that Jonah was… well, actually, God didn’t think that Jonah’s life was important enough to talk about. All we know is that he apparently had a diaper fetish and ran away when big scary voices told him to do things. All in all he seemed like a sensible...
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Imagine for a moment you are a nubile woman who is minding her own business. You met this great guy and you think things are really going to take off. He’s just so wonderful. Then God waltzes in and fucks up your life forever. What a guy! God doesn’t even come down himself to...
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So after God rapes Mary and inserts himself into her womb, he then promptly goes onto a suicide mission. See, God can only do so much healing and feeding poor people before he starts to get really annoyed. Further, he knew he’d be coming back so it wasn’t technically a suicide mission. It was...
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Job was a peaceful, righteous, and successful man. He had many wives, a nice house, lots of children, and lived a comfortable life. God was looking down at this guy who pleased him, and knew what was coming. He was probably smiling sadistically to himself at all he was going to unleash on poor...
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God has this thing against buttsex. Nobody is sure why, but my guess is he had a bad childhood experience and would rather not talk about it. No, stop, he really doesn’t want to talk about it. Once upon a time there was this fabulous city called Sodom. Sodom had this adorable sister city...
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