God has this thing against buttsex. Nobody is sure why, but my guess is he had a bad childhood experience and would rather not talk about it. No, stop, he really doesn’t want to talk about it. Once upon a time there was this fabulous city called Sodom. Sodom had this adorable sister city...
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Coconuts. They are wonderfully sweet, pretty nutritious, and the food of choice for isolated ship-wrecked people everywhere. God designed this fruit to be beneficial for man. This is indeed something to behold. It’s succulent, juicy, and is used to sweeten a variety of desserts in many areas. The coconuts fleshy interior is fragrant and...
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Before Adam and Eve ate the fruit and doomed us all to God’s petulant wrath, sex always produced a child. Every single time. In fact, when Adam stuck it in and did his deed, afterwards, one sperm would come out, find its mark, and produce a child. The child, subsequently, would slide out of...
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Well, isn’t this a piece of work. Having a doctor stick his latexed fingers up your rear doesn’t prevent you from dying from prostate cancer. Sure, they found more people that have it, but that didn’t help them in the long run. God sure did a great job, right? He made it so that...
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So there you are, minding you own business, gambling and raping women, not harming anyone, and generally enjoying life. All of a sudden the sky grows dark and for the first time in the existence of Earth, it starts raining. Everywhere. The water comes up fast and turns once luscious valleys of breasts and...
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So there’s this post by this creationist and his argument basically is that God redesigned or pre-designed predators. See, the Bible has to be true, so the Fall of Man and the subsequent Curse are all real. So before the Fall God apparently filled the world with nothing but bashful bunnies, fluffy kittens, yipping...
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God created the universe. He painstakingly crafted the universe and set all the variables just right, so that your mother is able to squeeze you out of her twat. He lovingly caressed the stardust and swirled up galaxies into existence, and created the Earth on which we sit. He mixed the atmosphere up by...
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I think it’s pretty clear by now that God’s an asshole. If there is one thing God likes to do it is to watch humans futilely try to work around his wonderful creation that he designed specifically for them. Next on the list: Pomegranates. Pomegranates are possibly one of the most useless fruit to...
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There’s one thing God made that truly makes him the biggest anal licker in existence. He created self-righteous tools to be his followers. You know the type. They come up pretending to be interested in your life only to deal you a deck of bullshit cards about how pathetic you are and how much...
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God hates you. He really does. If he loved you I don’t think he’d do these awful things to you and your body. Here are five things that prove God is a real douche bag and loves making your life miserable. 5. Your Balls Smell Weird Let’s face it, your junk smells. No matter...
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